


Stirring the pot

by SwiftRiver



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, my shitty sense of humor, the 420th fic in the jm tag everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwiftRiver/pseuds/SwiftRiver
Summary: Elias hands Jon a pipe





	Stirring the pot

Elias hands Jon a pipe.

Jon blinks. 

"Is this some new kind of confession method? Because as far as I'm aware, you're already in jail."

Ah, the jail thing. Jon looks around just to be sure. Yup, Jon - and by the law of transitive property Elias - is in his office and not rotting in a cell somewhere.

Elias spreads his noteably unmanacled hands. "They let me out for a special occasion."

Martin chooses this time to barge through the door. 

"I was alerted by the sound of oily accountants," he pants, "is something wro- Hey!" 

Martin points a finger at Elias. Elias gives him a small wave, then walks backwards into nothing, dissipating like smoke swept by the wind that comes through the sliding doors in a dollar store. Damn.

"Bastard," Martin mutters before taking a few cautious steps inside.

Jon turns the pipe over in his hands. It has weed in it. (Jon knows what drugs are, he tells himself. If only Georgie could see him now.) If only he had a source of fire on him, he could have Blazed It, as the kids say. He thinks... and thinks...and thinks.

Elias appears from nowhere and, rolling his eyes, lights the pipe with a spiderweb lighter.

" _See_ you later," he says as he slowly disappears again, "haha, get it? See? You use an _eye_ to se-"

Martin throws an eraser at him and it thwonks off his head before he could disappear fully. Elias's brief noise of complaint fades away into nothingness as quickly as complaints sent to HR are flung into the void.

“That should keep off our backs for good while,” he says hotly. Which is to say, he says it in a heated manner. With a fervent passion, wow that’s hot. Jon is transfixed by how hot this is that he forgets the other hot thing in his hand (the hot kush) and drops it straight onto his lap.

He yelps – his pants are burning – and Martin’s there, snatching the pipe back onto the desk.

“Oh god,” Martin is saying, “are you alright?”

“Wow,” Jon says.

What he means to say is: “Yes, can I hold your hand?”

What comes out is: “Do you want to smoke weed together?”

So they do, right there in the archives. They get high and watch The Lorax somehow. It's generally a bad time, but when Jon wakes up with his head on Martin's shoulders and vague dreams about orange creatures, he decides that it could have been worse.

**Author's Note:**

> ITS A WEED JOKE HI Congratulations to jm for making it to 420!!! heres to 270 more 🥂


End file.
